Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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