I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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