meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
