i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
