And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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