..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Where is the hickey?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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