so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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