I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
