i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
