Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
did i walk over a car last night?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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