id be glad to
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
