Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
