thus making me awesome and them whores
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
