My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
