k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
