Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
