OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
