We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
