It's Friday. Sex?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
