Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
