thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
