seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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