she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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