is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize
