omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
