My hand turned me down
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
