we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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