Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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