Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
