And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
