she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
