Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
