she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
