I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
