Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
