i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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