so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
