One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
