this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
