"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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