I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
