like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
