Im at strip club and am horny
Dual....:-)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
