The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
