I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
bring money and cleavage
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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