Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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