You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
