I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
