You work out of a Hotel?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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