i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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